"Please, let me sing a thousand notes for you, so they can be lifted towards the sky, so you can hear me singing. Because I want you to know how much I miss you...I wish you could know how much I wish you were still here..."
Since you've been gone, I have not been the same. To be honest I know I never will be. Everything has changed since we were kids. I don't like it this way. It was much better then.
Everything has gone wrong. The skies are a little darker then usual, the trees are cold and they don't grow leaves anymore. It may just be the change in the weather, but I think it's also a change in my heart.
♫It's up to you now, this place is filling up with smoke. And you won't let me breathe in or out, so I resolve to cut my own throat♫
Have you ever been sad? Depressed? Trapped in these walls which you star at everyday. Wondering why you are there. Sitting. Staring. Hurting.
Wont anyone ever notice your pain? Probably not because you refuse to show it.
You don't want anyone to know how you feel. It will make you appear weak.
Scared, you look up, thinking that you'll find god. The faith you always were taught to love. But is he really there? Sometimes I believe so strongly that he is. Where other days I just don't know. I J u s t D o n t K n o w.
Is it okay if I breathe loudly? I get nervous around people sometimes. Its funny how I can sing in front of a bar full of people. And tell my whole life story through song, but I can barely put my feelings down on a note through Facebook. Why is that?
I always have this feeling that people can see through me. That they know what I am feeling, like it's written on my forehead. Even though I probably am not even showing it. I always get worried that people are judging me by what I wear, by the way I look. I know I am not pretty. But is it that obvious?
Is it okay if I cry? I have been doing that a lot lately. For the past few months anyways. Since July 2006, to be exact. Since then, I have not been alright. Matter of fact, I Don't really think I ever will be. And though I pull people close to me, I always push them away. I don't know why I do it, but I know I do. And I know that since August 31st, 2008...I have been shattered into a million pieces, I have been stuck, locked to the floor, looking up at that corner.
Is it okay if I fall in love with him? I know I am. I know he is there, I know he holds me up and keeps me sane. But I still feel like crying. I still feel like falling.
My battles are not with him, for he is perfect to me. They are with myself. I know he tries so desperately to help me, but I know he knows that he will never fix me. I have to fix myself first. But, for what it's worth, I really enjoy his company. I really hope he doesn't leave me, but knowing me, he probably will.
I love you, ♥
Is it okay if I feel like lying here for a moment? I don't feel like getting up just yet.
I really just feel like staring up at this wall for a while.
Since you've been gone, I have not been the same. To be honest I know I never will be. Everything has changed since we were kids. I don't like it this way. It was much better then.
Everything has gone wrong. The skies are a little darker then usual, the trees are cold and they don't grow leaves anymore. It may just be the change in the weather, but I think it's also a change in my heart.
♫It's up to you now, this place is filling up with smoke. And you won't let me breathe in or out, so I resolve to cut my own throat♫
Have you ever been sad? Depressed? Trapped in these walls which you star at everyday. Wondering why you are there. Sitting. Staring. Hurting.
Wont anyone ever notice your pain? Probably not because you refuse to show it.
You don't want anyone to know how you feel. It will make you appear weak.
Scared, you look up, thinking that you'll find god. The faith you always were taught to love. But is he really there? Sometimes I believe so strongly that he is. Where other days I just don't know. I J u s t D o n t K n o w.
Is it okay if I breathe loudly? I get nervous around people sometimes. Its funny how I can sing in front of a bar full of people. And tell my whole life story through song, but I can barely put my feelings down on a note through Facebook. Why is that?
I always have this feeling that people can see through me. That they know what I am feeling, like it's written on my forehead. Even though I probably am not even showing it. I always get worried that people are judging me by what I wear, by the way I look. I know I am not pretty. But is it that obvious?
Is it okay if I cry? I have been doing that a lot lately. For the past few months anyways. Since July 2006, to be exact. Since then, I have not been alright. Matter of fact, I Don't really think I ever will be. And though I pull people close to me, I always push them away. I don't know why I do it, but I know I do. And I know that since August 31st, 2008...I have been shattered into a million pieces, I have been stuck, locked to the floor, looking up at that corner.
Is it okay if I fall in love with him? I know I am. I know he is there, I know he holds me up and keeps me sane. But I still feel like crying. I still feel like falling.
My battles are not with him, for he is perfect to me. They are with myself. I know he tries so desperately to help me, but I know he knows that he will never fix me. I have to fix myself first. But, for what it's worth, I really enjoy his company. I really hope he doesn't leave me, but knowing me, he probably will.
I love you, ♥
Is it okay if I feel like lying here for a moment? I don't feel like getting up just yet.
I really just feel like staring up at this wall for a while.
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